Over the course of the last few months I have written several iterations of this post and, inevitably, have never quite had the courage to press “publish”. I am notoriously terrible at dealing with endings and goodbyes and, as my blog continued to grow, the farewell I am saying today became increasingly challenging to express.
Musings on Momentum came to life nearly two years ago when I was first trying to find my place in Los Angeles and was newly engaged to my now-husband. It began with the goal of staying in touch with family and friends in mind but, over the years, turned into something so much more. It expanded into an incredibly rewarding creative outlet, one that challenged me and forced me to grow both as an individual and a professional. It brought unbelievably wonderful people and experiences into my life, in effect completely shaping the last two years of my life and changing the path I was on.
When I neared the end of my first year of blogging, I threw myself into Musings on Momentum full force, often spending 30 hours a week on my blog in addition to my regular 40 hour a week job. I loved it…the trials it presented, the growing pains, even the stress…at first. As my full-time career began to grow, however, the added hours and pressure involved in maintaining my blog became something I resented. I persevered, hoping the feeling would pass and that today’s post could be avoided, but after several months of waiting it out and posting content I wasn’t 100% in love with, it became clear to me that the time has come to put Musings on Momentum aside.
This decision was made even more pertinent following a medical diagnosis that I received last week. All throughout my life, I have been plagued with strange dislocations, broken bones, severe fatigue, and a grab-bag full of seemingly disconnected issues. Two weeks ago, I finally received my long-awaited answer when I was diagnosed with an incurable degenerative connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Since the diagnosis, life has been a blur of hospital visits, endless medical tests, and rounds of physical therapy, none of which are going to cease.
As my husband and I prepare for the next chapter of our lives, it is becoming increasingly crucial for me to pour every spare ounce of energy I have into my health and our marriage. We hope to start our family next year and the thought of doing so with my current physical limitations and level of stress intact does not feel like a smart or healthy choice. Since I obviously won’t be walking away from my full-time job now that my company-sponsored medical insurance is more important to have than ever, the clear answer to me is to say farewell to Musings on Momentum, at least for the time being.
You’re an incredibly talented group of women and it has been a privilege to share my hopes, dreams, and vision with all of you. You have all brought so many wonderful things to my life and have so generously opened your lives to me in return. I’ve had the opportunity to meet several of you in-person and would love to continue to do so in the future if you happen to find yourselves in Los Angeles.
As for me, I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do with my newfound free-time but I’m certain I’ll figure it out. I’m envisioning a summer full of relaxation, barbecues with friends, exploring new areas of LA with my husband (who I will finally have time for!), and many, many mimosa-fueled brunches by our rooftop pool. I truly love each and every one of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for welcoming me into your community with open arms. You gave me a platform to express myself, you gave me your unconditional friendship and, most meaningfully, you helped me find my home.
Goodbye for now,