When I originally wrote my farewell post, “Goodbye…At Least for Now” in May of this year, I was newly diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, an incurable degenerative connective tissue disorder, and in need of some quality rest and relaxation. As I attempted to wade through my initial diagnosis as quickly as possible with the goal of learning, processing and moving on to the next chapter of my life in mind, additional diagnoses were made and the full scope of the damage this disease has caused to my body started to become clear.
After processing the diagnosis and what it meant for the rest of my life, I wallowed. I wallowed HARD, guys. I perfected the art of wallowing. I could probably write a book on it by now. I traded blogging 30+ hours a week for doctor’s appointments and spending all my spare time researching every facet of this disease that I could. It was overwhelming, it was heartbreaking and, ultimately, it was unhealthy. Then, just like that, I came up for air and realized that I was over feeling sorry for myself and ready to move on.
I missed possessing hope for the future. I yearned for all the ways Musings on Momentum used to fulfill me both creatively and intellectually. More than anything, I longed for this blogging community. After a great number of conversations with my husband about whether there is space for this platform in my new reality, I realized that the only thing that doesn’t have a role in my life is the stagnant place I found myself in post-diagnosis.
The last six months have been a journey as I have gone from building the life I thought I should be living, to living the one I have been given. I’ve had to let go of the preconceived notions I held about what I thought my future should look like to fully embrace the realities that now dictate it. Was it part of my plan to get these diagnoses? No, not in any way shape or form. But who of us plans on receiving the kind of life altering news? All any of us can do is pick up the pieces and learn anew.
So, I am back. I am still working through what my return to Musings on Momentum is realistically going to look like but I knew that I couldn’t stay away any longer. Over the next few months, you can look forward to a revival of decor, style and musical inspiration as well as a very fun London vlog that I’m dying to share with you all. I’m eager to embark upon this next chapter, even though it is going to look notably different than I planned on.